No one likes to admit that aging takes its toll or that the body needs support even at a young age. However, if you notice that you have to ask people to repeat themselves more and more often during conversations or that you can no longer distinguish between certain sounds, you should take action. A hearing test can provide initial insight.

If you repeatedly avoid situations with poor acoustics and try to hide your hearing loss, it’s not just you who suffers—your personal and professional life suffers too. This can lead to misunderstandings and, in some cases, cause you to withdraw from your daily life. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Jana Verheyen, an audio coach who is herself severely hard of hearing, shares that while it takes effort, it is possible—and well worth it—to face the challenges of hearing loss and overcome them.

Ms. Verheyen, you yourself wear hearing aids in both ears. How did you experience the period following your sudden hearing loss?

The sudden hearing loss itself didn’t really bother me, because I’d only lost a little hearing in one ear. When I was on the phone, I’d just use my other ear, and during conversations, I’d make sure to keep the ear that still worked well closer to the speaker. I was twenty and didn’t give it much thought.

Eventually, it became clear that this was just the beginning of a steadily progressing—and, above all, bilateral—hearing loss: Conversations became more taxing, talking on the phone—even with my better ear—became more difficult, misunderstandings increased, and in group settings I grew quieter and quieter because I understood less and less of what was being said.

I’m now in my early forties and have hearing loss that borders on deafness. I can no longer make phone calls, and group conversations feel to me as if they’re taking place in a foreign language. Anyone who wants to talk to me needs my full attention and has to face me—but then communication works surprisingly well and smoothly, because I mentally fill in many of the auditory gaps.

This gradual shift away from a life where I used to hear well and into a daily reality where I rarely know what’s happening or being said around me—and where even the most casual conversation requires mental effort—has been, and continues to be, a truly rocky road for me—sometimes more, sometimes less. Of course, I’m growing through these challenges, and I also have a job where I support other people with hearing loss in exactly this area. But the greater the hearing loss, the greater the barriers—barriers that can only be overcome with even more effort on all sides. It’s not a walk in the park—neither for me nor for those around me.

You then completely reoriented your career. What helped you the most during that time?

I come from the highly communicative world of agency work. Once it became clear that I could no longer compensate for my progressive hearing loss, I made a career change and created a profession for myself in which my hearing loss is an advantage rather than a handicap: As an audiotherapist (DSB) and systemic coach, I counsel people with hearing loss, give lectures, and lead self-help workshops and workshops for audiologists. I’ve also developed a holistic hearing training program—the kind I wish I’d had myself to help me adjust to hearing loss and hearing aids.

What helped me most was the support of those around me—my family, friends, and partner—who were incredibly supportive. Even though I decided very early on to grow from my hearing loss rather than retreat into sadness and loneliness—and have followed through on that quite consistently—there are still moments when I feel like giving up. And that’s exactly when the people around me are there for me. I’m very grateful for that.

Everyday communication becomes more difficult as hearing loss worsens. How do you cope with this challenge?

The key is to face reality head-on! Only once I’ve accepted where my limitations lie at any given moment can I actively seek out solutions for specific situations. A 100% solution is rare, but often a partial solution is significantly better than none at all.

The key is to recognize that interacting with others and living in a community is a fundamental, existential need. It’s therefore very important to let the people around me know what’s going on, what environmental conditions make it easier for me to have a conversation, and how they can support me. People who aren’t hard of hearing often aren’t aware of all this and are surprised at how easy it is to have a smooth conversation when a few rules are followed. Admittedly, I sometimes shy away from explaining this because I think it’s not necessary at that moment—only to realize afterward that I didn’t understand half of what was said and left the other person with the impression that I’m somehow strange or stupid.

Generally speaking, it’s also in the interest of those around me that the person with hearing loss remains part of the group and contributes—this applies to every person with hearing loss; otherwise, they wouldn’t be part of that group! So when my friends and acquaintances have to listen in for me or repeat something, they’re doing it in their own interest as well. This realization helps me and many of my clients a great deal, because it allows us to interact as equals, rather than becoming increasingly insecure and making ourselves small.

It’s also very important to recognize that the effort required for communication by someone with hearing loss demands enormous additional energy resources, which are noticeably lacking elsewhere. Anyone with hearing loss should therefore think very carefully about where they want to devote their energy and where they can consciously and sensibly conserve it elsewhere. For example, completely exhausting oneself trying to understand speech at work—only to be too tired for any social interaction in one’s free time—is not a solution. Instead, one should figure out how to reduce the effort required for listening at work and determine which friendships can be maintained and how.