Have we fallen asleep linguistically?

Communication is such an integral part of our lives that we hardly even think about it anymore—but what if it stops working properly?

Interpersonal Communication as a Basic Need

The COVID-19 pandemic has put us to the test in every way. Concerns about our obvious basic needs—such as financial security, medical care, and protection—have been brought to our attention every single day. Yet one essential basic need has increasingly taken a back seat: interpersonal communication and closeness. After more than a year of constant ups and downs, with one lockdown following another and contact restrictions now becoming the norm for us, we are painfully aware of how much our sense of community has suffered as a result.

For many, the question now arises: How has isolation affected my communication skills—can I still carry on conversations as openly and eloquently as before? To get to the bottom of this question, we need to remember that effective communication is a skill like any other—and, as such, it can be practiced and developed! Below, we share some tips and advice to help you feel confident heading into future meetings or any other appointments.

Tip #1: Reflect on Your Own Communication Patterns

To improve communication, it’s helpful to first become aware of your own behavior during conversations. This allows you to identify areas for improvement and implement strategies to address them. When examining your own communication behavior, you can ask yourself the following questions:

• Am I speaking loudly and clearly enough? Especially when wearing a mask, it’s important to maintain a comfortable speaking pace and an appropriate volume.
• How are my gestures and facial expressions? Do my facial expressions and posture reinforce what I’m saying? Or do they distract and confuse the person I’m talking to?
• Does my demeanor come across as authentic, or am I trying to put on a front?
• Do I often lose my train of thought, or is there a clear line of reasoning? It’s only human to quickly shift to a new thought out of enthusiasm, but if we jump from topic to topic and the original point of the conversation is no longer clear, this could confuse the person I’m talking to.
• To what extent do I engage with the person I’m talking to? Do I let him or her finish speaking, and do I really listen actively?

If you can answer these questions honestly, you’ll find it easier to put the following tips into practice! However, be kind to yourself and don’t push yourself beyond what’s good for you. Recognizing the problem is the first step toward improvement, and if you’re determined to improve your communication, you’re already halfway there.

Tip #2: Use Every Situation as an Opportunity for Conversation

Try to take advantage of as many opportunities for conversation as possible in your everyday life. Whether it’s a quick chat with the barista at your favorite café or a short break at work with your coworkers: The more often you push yourself to start a conversation, the faster small talk and connecting with others will become second nature again, and the lower your inhibitions will become.

Tip #3: Take the First Step

This advice goes hand in hand with Tip No. 2: Don’t wait for others—just start the conversation yourself! No one likes awkward silences, and the person you’re talking to will surely appreciate it if you break the ice. Try to use your surroundings to your advantage or ask your conversation partner sincere questions to get the conversation going. This shows genuine interest and helps build trust.

Here, too, it’s important to gradually let go of your inhibitions. Often, our own thoughts hold us back, and we worry that we’ll say something wrong—but that’s rarely the case, and often we’re just getting in our own way!

Tip #4: Foster understanding and seek it out

The classic cause of failed conversations is misunderstandings that aren’t cleared up. This applies to both the listener and the speaker. So don’t hesitate to ask specific questions to ensure you truly understand your conversation partner’s intentions and the core of what they’re saying.

This shows that you’re engaged and also conveys that you’re genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. The speaker can do the same, however: Make sure you genuinely care that your conversation partner understands you and that you’re not just there to hear yourself talk.

To that end, brief pauses in the conversation are essential, so that the other person can chime in and ask follow-up questions. A smooth conversation only flows when the roles of speaker and listener alternate.

If you find yourself having to ask the person you’re talking to to repeat themselves more and more often, this could be an early sign of hearing loss. Our sense of hearing is one of our most important senses, because hearing also means being able to communicate with others.

As mentioned earlier, social interaction is one of our most fundamental needs as human beings. If this is limited, it automatically leads to a significant loss in quality of life. But it doesn’t stop there—it can also lead to other health consequences. Accordingly, it is highly advisable to have your hearing checked regularly by a hearing care professional or an ENT specialist.

Tip No. 5: Be Open and Honest

Being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes is a great tool for successful communication. So try to deduce from body language, facial expressions, and, of course, what’s actually being said what the other person needs right now—even if this is currently made more difficult by wearing masks. Does the person just want to vent, and might well-meaning advice backfire? Or is that exactly what they want—an honest opinion—but the other person remains silent? Consequently, it’s important to always be honest and open about your expectations for a conversation so that disappointment doesn’t arise.

If there’s one thing to take away, it’s that openness and empathy are essential for easing inhibitions during communication! However, don’t be too hard on yourself if small talk doesn’t go as smoothly as you’d hoped—after all, practice makes perfect! Everyone has to get used to being around colleagues in the office again, as well as meeting people at restaurants, conferences, and so on. This is a big adjustment after months of isolation—either completely alone or only with immediate family or a partner.